United States of America (also United Shitholes of America, burgerland, USA, US, the states or just "murika") is the biggest tumor on Earth, a dystopian imperialist country of fat, stupid idiots enslaved by capitalism, either rightist or pseudoleftist fascists endlessly obsessed with money, wars, fighting, shooting their presidents and shooting up their schools (rampage shooting is their national sport). Other things they like include guns, oil, frying people on electric chairs, throwing nuclear bombs on cities, detonating nuclear bombs in the sea and crashing planes into their own skyscrapers so that they can invade other countries for more oil. Spread of the toxic American culture over whole world has become a plague, but it's yet worse than cholera and black death combined. USA consists of 50 states located in North America, a continent that ancestors of Americans invaded and have stolen from Indians, the natives whom Americans mass murdered. Americans are stupid idiots with guns who above all value constant societal conflict and make the world so that all people are dragged into such conflict. It's the land of the freak and the home of the slave.
You may have been led to naively believe USA is something of a superior country but it's a beginner mistake to think that, it's merely a country that's shouting the loudest and tries to be seen as much as possible, it is like the popular blonde chick in your class that everyone is giving attention because she's wearing tons of makeup and is bitching and crying all the time, however despite the attention you can bet in any other way she's most definitely the stupidest, least interesting human in the room. Just think of what USA is best known for:
And the good things? Zero. Really, pause for a moment and try to come up with anything good. Can we really consider THIS a GOOD example of a country by ANY stretch at all? Only a lunatic could.
{ Sorry to some of my US frens :D I love you <3 I have now actually added some good things about the US at the bottom. ~drummyfish }
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More than anything USA resembles North Korea, main difference being that USA actually acts on their promises of war and does attack other countries instead of just talking about it. Apart from this we only find striking similarities: in both countries citizens are successfully led to believing their country is the greatest and have strong propaganda based on cults of personality, which to outsiders seem very ridiculous but which is nevertheless very effective: for example North Korea officially proclaims their supreme leader Kim Jong-il was born atop a sacred mountain and a new star came to existence on the day of his birth, while Americans on the other hand believe one of their retarded leaders named George Washington was a divine god who was PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO TELL A LIE, which was actually taught at their schools. Government surveillance of citizens is pervasive and ever present in both countries, but lower in North Korea as its citizens aren't surrounded by always-online devices as much. North Korea is ruled by a single political party, US is ruled by two practically same militant capitalist imperialist parties (democrats and republicans), i.e. de-facto one party as well. Both USA and North Korea are obsessed with weapons (especially nuclear ones) and their military, both are highly and openly fascist (nationalist) and both practice the death penalty, both are full of extreme propaganda, censorship and hero culture, people worship dictators such as Kim Jong-un or Steve Jobs. US is even worse than North Korea because it exports its toxic culture all over the whole world and constantly invades other countries, it is destroying all other cultures and leads the whole world to doom and destruction of all life, while North Korea basically only destroys itself.
Quite far back in the past when society wasn't yet so developed as today, in Middle Ages for example, punishment by death was normal and there were no such things as social security, everyone was more or less for himself and so it was normal to walk outside armed because criminals waited behind every corned, one had to protect himself and his family, and war was constantly around so being a soldier was a common daily job for many. Of course all this sounds unimaginable today... at least in Europe.
It is one of the most essential parts of American nature to praise self interest and survival as the highest priority, there exists no higher good or higher moral values such as selflessness -- if you ask an American whether he'd rather be morally good and not survive or survive but be evil, it's guaranteed he'll choose being evil without any hesitation, and since life (at least in the U.S.) ask exactly this question, all Americans ended up becoming evil (logically, those who refused evil did not survive). As the pure meaning of words such as "good", "charity" or "selflessness" is completely lost, they take on a whole new meaning: good in America means an evil whose side effects can at least be considered somewhat good, but true moral good as a concept is absolutely unknown and incomprehensible to American.
In US mainstream politics there exists no true left, only right and pseudoleft. It is only in deepest underground, out of the sun's rays and sight of the public eye, where on rare occasion sometimes something of value comes to existence as an exception to the general rule that nothing good comes from the US. One of these exceptions is free software (established by Richard Stallman) which was however quickly smothered by the capitalist open source counter movement. Also the hippie movement was kind of cool, and here and there a good videogame or movie happens to be made in the US, but remember you have to sift through an ocean of crap to find a small nugget of gold here.
On 6th and 9th August 1945 USA murdered about 200000 civilians, most of whom were innocent men, women and children, by throwing atomic bombs on Japanese cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The men who threw the bombs and ordered the bombing were never put on trial, actually most Americans praise them as heroes and think it was a good thing to do.
Americans are uber retarded^([source: my brain]) for example in trying to somehow pursue both self interest and "social equality", it's extremely ridiculous, an american brain is literally incapable of imagining someone who doesn't at his core work on the basis of self interest, so the American that tries to identify with "wanting equality and human rights" just comes up with hugely fucked up arguments like "SKIN COLOR IS JUST ILLUSION THEREFORE WE ARE ALL EQUAL" -- because he inevitably sees differences implying oppression because self interest just cannot be not present (this idea won't even occur for a second to him during his whole lifetime, it's simply something he NEVER can physically think), his mind is hard wired to be unable of grasping the idea of accepting difference between people while giving up the self interest of falling to fascism as a consequence. Similar arguments are encountered e.g. regarding vegetarianism: an American supporting vegetarianism will resort to denying evolution, biology and anatomy and will argue something like "HUMANS ARE HERBIVORES BECAUSE THIS FEMINIST SCIENTIST SAYS IT AND MEAT KILLS US SO WE MUST NOT EAT IT", again because he just thinks that admitting meat is healthy to us automatically implies we have to eat it because self interest is just something that's an inherent part of laws of physics; a normal (non retarded) vegetarian will of course admit not eating meat at all is probably a bit unhealthy, but it's a voluntary choice made of altruistic love towards other living beings who now don't have to die for one's tastier food.
USA also has the worst justice system in the world, they literally let angry mob play judges in actual courts, they pick random trash from the streets (similarly to how they choose their presidents) and let them decide someone's guilt for giving them free lunch, which they call "jury duty". Lawyers are not so much lawyers as actors, trained in theatrical language and gestures to psychologically push 80 IQ scumbags to perceive someone as a criminal or not, the "judge" only sits there on his ass and watches the circus unfold. This is not a joke, look it up, in USA you'll literally be judged by random amateurs who have no clue about law and will just judge you based on whether they like your face or not. You can't make this up.
{ "List of atrocities by the United States" is the longest page on leftypedia :-) https://wiki.leftypol.org/wiki/List_of_atrocities_committed_by_the_United_States. ~drummyfish }
Here is a comparison of average European country before and after infestation with American culture (judged by Czech Republic, the author's country of residence, but it's more or less the same in whole EU):
| what | before US culture (~1990s) | after US culture (~2020s) |
|---|---|---|
| mass shootings | no | yes |
| feminazism | no | yes |
| gay fascism | no | yes |
| slavery | mild | extreme |
| public toilets | yes | no |
| free healthcare | yes | no |
| corruption | mild | extreme |
| youtubers | no | yes |
| Santa Claus | no | yes |
| ads | mild | unbearable, aggressive |
| morality | sometimes | no |
| idiots | some | all |
| free speech | mostly | no |
| Apple | no | yes |
| privacy hysteria | no | yes |
| social security | yes | no |
| old age pension | yes | no |
| fear culture | no | extreme |
| update culture, consumerism | mostly not | extreme |
| powerty | none | extreme |
| financial crisis | no | yes |
| society collapsing | no | yes |
| art and culture | good | none |
| toxicity | rare | extreme |
| technology | fine | worst in history |
| plastic surgery abominations | no | yes |
| TV content to ad ratio | > 10 | < 1 |
| wanted to commit suicide | no | yes |
| society worked | kinda | no |
When accepting the award of Celestyn Opitz, MUDr. Emil Strach reflected on the state of medical care in Czech Republic before and after capitalism. Back in the days of the Marxist regime in the country, some of his colleagues emigrated to the US and when they later gathered on medical conferences, he noticed that while Czechoslovakian doctors talked a lot about their patients, the US doctors talked mostly about money. After the Velvet revolution and privatization, he noted, even the Czech doctors now seem to talk mostly about money. In his speech he stressed how a selfless care for the patient has unfortunately been disappearing with this new "American model".
USA <3 imperialism. In general it goes like this: there is some jungle tribe that has figured life out, they don't have to work much, lie down all day, have sex with anyone they like, have no money, walk around naked, are generally happy. USA sees their resources and they go: "Hey, you need some DEMOCRACY. We'll take your fields but we'll build a factory there and GIVE YOU JOBS. It's not slavery, you'll just be in the factory for 12 hours each day doing repetitive tasks, then you give half of the money you make there to us so that you can keep the land on which you have your hut -- no, it's not slavery, we don't use that word anymore, we call it capitalism. We'll teach you what racism and feminism is. We'll build you MCdonalds in your village. We'll kill the jungle in 100km radius along with all life in it, but we'll give you a device to manage your finance and as a bonus it will be showing you ads all day so you don't even have to look around at all the mayhem, you'll just be watching the display, OK? You're welcome."
In Europe, or maybe just anywhere else in the world, you are afraid of getting hit by a car because you might die, in America you're afraid of it because you couldn't afford the ambulance bill and would get into unpayable debt (yes, even if you pay "health insurance"). You can literally find footage of half dead people running away from ambulances so that they don't have to go to debt for being kept alive. On the other hand though, America is the only country in the world where your pizza order arrives faster than an ambulance, so you've got some time to run. In Europe you are afraid of hitting someone with a car because you might kill him, in America you are afraid of it because he might sue you. This is not an exaggeration or joke, it's literally how it is -- it's incredible how people can believe the country is somehow "more advanced", it is quite literally the least developed country in history.
To touch on another subject Americans would rather love the world to forget about, in 1920 the so called "land of freedom" banned drinking alcohol so that capitalist slaves could spend less time on fun and more time on slavery, this was known as the prohibition and led to skyrocketing of organized crime. Another pinnacle of stupidity indeed. This lasted over a decade.
{ An awesome but to my knowledge lesser known parody of America is a puppet movie called Team America: World Police. ~drummyfish }
Alright so now that we're done with the important, we might as well relax and examine a more lighthearted stuff: what are the things typical of the big shiny USA (see also stereotypes)? It's the little differences. For example: driving a bicycle and throwing newspapers onto houses of other people who all have a dog trained to catch and bring the newspaper in the house (stopping the bike would mean losing time and time is money). Or school buses. State borders, roads and city layouts are always rectangular and perpendicular, no organic or curved shapes. Road signs and traffic lights are also all slightly wrong, for example the lines on roads are yellow instead of white, your lights are on the OPPOSITE side of the crossroad etc. Little children are required to dissect frogs at school. Additionally they have to memorize names of all the presidents and salute the flag to the sound of national anthem every morning so that they can grow up to be unbiased, independently thinking adults (that join the army). For some reason child abduction is part of American culture, as well as people randomly going missing or casually disappearing for decades -- whenever you step into a super market, walls are covered by photos of missing people (and ads). It's unbelievable and something hard to understand for a European. Toilets are always in bathroom, which Europeans find DISGUSTING. In shops you will meet "baggers" -- employees paid to put your groceries in your bag, you can't make this up. Everyone is suing everyone constantly, no divorce or even a minor traffic incident is complete without a lawsuit over horrendous sums, that's why it's completely normal to be a billionaire for a week and then live another week as a hobo under a bridge because you slapped your secretary's ass, then next week you become a millionaire because you were lucky to be hit by a car and sue the driver and so on, and extremes like this are completely normal: criminals for example get sentenced to hundreds or thousands of years in jail plus several lifetimes on top just to make it more dramatic, whole cities catch fire or get swallowed by sinkholes, tornadoes routinely disrupt school classes etc. In general everything is much more extreme in America, roads and sidewalks are wider because cars, as well as people, are larger, skyscrapers start to reach outer space now, crazy people are REALLY crazy, loud people are REALLY loud, the gap between rich and poor is larger and more noticeable than anywhere else in the world. Next are disgusting manners in eating, roasting marshmallows, drinking wine from plastic cups, putting peanut butter and jam on everything and having all food, including bread, sweetened to just short of lethal dosage, to a degree that would unironically be illegal in the EU { Oh god, someone just informed me about something called "s'more", do not even look it up :D ~drummyfish }, that's all very typical of the US (it is by the way also why gargantuously fat people are a real issue there, they must have special toilets, special seats on a plane and so on). { I don't even fkn know what peanut butter tastes like, no one eats that shit in Europe lol. ~drummyfish } But it's not just food, also architecture and home design for example, Americans are masters at reaching new peaks of awful aesthetic tastes, you see a Victorian style house with Jacuzzi decorated with artifacts from all time periods and places, ancient Chinese vases next to ancient Greek busts and modern abstract art, it's as if you tried to make the best food by buying as many ingredients as possible and throwing them all in a pot together. Also weird pseudosports and illogical measurement units, and obsession with worker unions (in USA it's understood by default the employer will be exploiting you to maximum and will eventually murder you and sell your organs and the culture dictates you must defend yourself, else the murder isn't even his fault, you're stupid for not having defended yourself). In the US dentists don't give you anesthetics before a surgery like one would expect from a sane doctor, probably because that would be too expensive and not entertaining enough for the paying customer -- no, they rather give you LSD or some kinda similar shit after which you get high as a kite, you can literally find footage of people going from the dentist being drugged like a street whore, this is not normal. Everyone makes such a big deal of high school graduation and the "prom", it's unreal -- everywhere else in the world no one gives a single shit about high school graduation because it's what everyone above 80 IQ will do, at best people are happy to finally get outta the shithole, but in the US it's like your bar micva or wedding. And this goes for everything, every day there is a national day of something and it ought be celebrated, and celebrations of birthdays are the biggest deal ever as inviting or NOT inviting someone may be the matter of life and death. In Europe literally no one cares about birthday except for children up to 5 years of age, for anyone else it's just an excuse to get drunk. However children in America are otherwise busy: small kids are selling lemonade and cookies to random strangers in the streets, learning the filthy capitalist ways even before they learn to read; garage sales are typical and very popular also. There is too much over the top friendliness, emotion, anger, agreement and disagreement: everyone is very vocal about what's currently on his mind and has to signal it with exaggerated body language, happy people are hugging each other, kissing, singing and dancing, annoyed people are waving guns and flags and shouting at each other over the street, traffic jams are a shitfest of car horns and people shouting and shooting guns, and then sometimes in the streets complete strangers will smile at you and talk to you for no reason. In USA no one is truly American because people came to steal the land just recently, so everybody is in fact some kind of Euro or Asian degenerate, everyone's like "hey bro, I'm Italian Irish and Portuguese from mother's side but I'm actually 1/17th Polish Jew so I'm very, VERY sensitive to discussing the Holocaust". People are so lazy they can't even get out of their car to pick up their food and they LITERALLY have cinemas for cars so that people do not have to get out of a car and walk to the seat, all of which further contributes to the obesity of the American nation. Americans are also close to monkeys in their behavior: as an example when an American experiences even an insignificant success, he starts dancing and jumping around, doing what's called a "happy dance" or "victory dance", it's something extremely cringe to witness, literally an adult behaving like a 3 year old. Everything is very far apart in the US and people commonly travel from state to state and coast to coast just cause they feel like it or out of boredom, to get to the shop you must first drive 3 hours through barren desert by a completely straight road, people travel hundreds and thousands of kilometers (sorry, miles!) -- upon settling in a new place one must go and greet all the neighbors and inform them that he's a convicted pedophile while bringing cake as a welcome gift. In bigger cities you also cannot live without a car because even though shops are relatively near, there are NO SIDEWALKS leading to them, they literally cannot be accessed on foot, building sidewalks that could be used even by poor people FOR FREE would be seen as communism. Yes, this is absolutely ridiculous, but completely normal in the USA. EVERY SINGLE house must have American flag in front -- the bigger, the better -- fascism is completely normal, people don't even see it as weird. Nomadic life, temporary homelessness, living in a caravan or just in your car on a parking lot -- that's nothing uncommon either, but a homeless in America is much different from European hobo: in America homelessness is like catching cold, it just happens from time to time to everyone, even to a CEO or rich lawyer, but it literally only means you have no house, you just go sleep in your car instead of your home, but that's not much of an issue because you live at work anyway, so a homeless guy is still a slave, he goes to slavery like he would if he had a house -- that is very stupid and weird. Houses in America look luxurious but it's fake as everything else, they lack solid foundations and have walls made of cardboard and polystyrene that a slightly stronger breeze tears down -- having your house eaten by termites is also a real danger in America -- all is just about the external look, like the whole glorious US.
To a classic European (a man living in Europe before the year 2010) America is hard to comprehend, it's very confusing because superficially it looks familiar, the houses and roads looks like our houses and our roads, people wear similar clothes and have similar hobbies, they have electricity and running water and cars and TVs and carry around electronic gadgets, but upon closer inspection we find they are so incredibly stupid it's truly difficult to believe, so much that it's hard to understand that such a society can even exist and function. A European usually thinks all the "crazy" stuff about the US is just fiction we see in movies, an exaggeration and comedy, but it is genuinely hard to accept and realize that it is in fact a reality, that all the violence is part of America's daily life, that all the child abductions and school shootings and bank robberies and looting and police brutality really are part of their lives, that going outside always comes with a risk of being killed, that homelessness is a true plague, poverty and starvation a daily bread for many, that owning a house and being granted healthcare and education is still a privilege like it was in medieval times, that death sentence is still practiced and universally accepted as necessary while for some bizarre reason abortions are controversial and make for life and death arguments. And it is not only the "official" death sentence, just going to prison practically equals something like a fifty percent chance of being executed, it's taken for granted you'll most likely die in prison and in fact it's one of the basic pillars of their society as that's how the country deals with overpopulation and regulating their horrendous numbers of criminals -- Americans are similar to Nazis in considering prisoners subhuman and so it's not at all considered immoral to lock them up in a cage like rats and let them "fight it up", see who comes out alive. If criminals were to be considered human beings whose lives should be protected, America couldn't exist because the prison capacity wouldn't suffice. They won't even see the irony when pointing fingers at China for their barbaric firing squad executions, but what else is happening in their own streets daily? Despite all this they dare call their country the "best" in the world. They possibly even believe it.
Also LMAO, in normal countries you get to a university when you're smart and have good grades -- smart people should study and do some intellectual work, makes sense, right? But not so in America. There you get to a university if you're A) rich, or B) good at some sport (see also Forrest Gump). WTF is this? Imagine a brain surgeon is gonna operate on you and you're like "Doc, how good were you at school?" and he replies "I was pretty stupid and barely passed with Es, but I was really good at handegg." They'll make people study history of poetry because they're good at weightlifting? Fucking greatest country ever :D
{ I gotta say now I came to know more than one, or even two people from the US who are exceptions from all the, well, "negativity" I've just written (but only because I couldn't write anything positive), in fact they often leave me speechless with how fantastic and amazing they are, who absolutely make me wish I could be more like them. No words can adequately describe it -- anyway my point is your country of origin cannot stop you from being good, I rely on the basic sense of reason that no one can possibly take everything I write as an unbreakable fundamental law of nature -- I dislike pointing this out because it should be obvious by logic, but I really hope it's pretty clear sometimes I use hyperbole, irony and similar devices to get some points across. But then again please don't take the article as a joke, it IS absolutely serious, USA is a dystopia and hell on Earth. ~drummyfish }
Proverbs and idioms can reveal something about the nature of a nation. Here are some typical US sayings:
All evil does some good, maybe even USA, and we should admit them as much. In everyday life we can safely make the (not so much) simplified assumption that 100% of everything coming from the US is pure shit, but in this section we'll try our best to list a few somewhat good things to perhaps draw some inspiration from, even though they are frequently just responses to problems USA created in the first place. So, these are perhaps some rare gems associated with the otherwise very awful country:
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